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Glenda Tape Transcript 2-2

Glenda Tape 2-2, right click to download

This part seems to be after Dangerous is released in 1991/early 92

MJ:That I’m lonely and stuff. I say that on a lot of tunes.
G: You say it in that um – and I love that song – Who Is It.
MJ: “Don’t you know that I am lonely?” I say that.
G: Yeah.
MJ: I say that in a lot of songs. I say it in, um, Will You Be There.
G: You also say “don’t be judging”.
MJ: I say what?
G: “Don’t be judging,” at the end of Who Is It.
MJ: Yeah, don’t be, don’t be, don’t be judging…
MJ: You know I thought when I first started talking to you—there’s a real sense of close – “She’s not gonna be a dim wit.”
G: (laughs)
MJ: You know and it’s like, God, “She understands me. She hasn’t been through what I been through. I mean, she has, but… She doesn’t like gossip.” There is no judgment there.
G: Well, I thought you were drawn to me because, um, you realized– that I was very protective at first.
MJ: I was drawn to you because you were very accepting of me. You were accepting. And interest… intri-
G: What is that?
MJ: Interesting intri…
G: Intrigued?
MJ: Intriqued… interest
G: En… eccentric?
MJ: Interest
G: What?
MJ: Intracentric
G: I don’t even know that word!
MJ: Nevermind then. You know, like I said, “If you don’t have money, you’re called queer, if you have money, you’re called (“eccentric” word again). If…
G: (laughs)
MJ: And I thought, you know, you just accepted me no matter what.
G: I did! And I do! I still do.

(CUT IN TAPE)

(This part seems to take place sometime during the Bad tour)

MJ: The other day, after my video came out.. I don’t know what happened. They kicked me out of the trailer with my own band and stuff. And I’m on tour and stuff. Traveling with my (I) people and stuff like that. And –  “Who was that”?—ya know, it was like– I don’t associate with them. Only if there’s a rehearsal, or I have to be on stage. When we’re back in the hotel room. I don’t associate, really, with those people.
G: Not any of them?
MJ: No, I don’t associate with them. I stay off to myself.
G: Why? Isn’t there anybody you could be real close to?
MJ: No. I feel uncomfortable – it’s like… okay, “This is my band, we got Michael here, we got so-and-so.”
G: (Started, interrupted by Michael)
MJ: “We got Sheryl, we got, you know, Jennifer.” And, I just don’t associate with people.
G: Do you, um? Okay. Maybe is it hard for you to (sigh) to be so open?
MJ: I just–
G: In a way, in a way, and to be looking at someone in the face or having someone look at you in the face cause you don’t want them to… ’cause
MJ: You know what, I don’t want them to get close and I don’t want them to see in my soul. And then I deal with this anorexia thing… I feel sad.
G: Don’t, Michael. You look really good. (Silence) You look really good.
MJ: (After a silence- very low, strained) I don’t look good. I (I)
G: (I)

(CUT IN TAPE)

(Sometime after Latoya posed for Playboy)

MJ: Joseph used to beat us all the time and… (inaudible) dance… would… He would, he would just… get to me. And I bought into that, he was like, “Oh you put on a few pounds.” The only thing that I could control in my life, what with Motown… ’cause they tell you- in the interviews, when we used to go on Carson or Mike Douglas or whatever back then, when we used to do interviews as the Jackson Five, you know when you’re in this kind of business they kinda like, they like…okay, girl… “Do you have a girlfriend?” “No.” Do this… You know got, it’s like, they dictate to you everything. What you wear, what you sing. ‘Cause back then we weren’t allowed to sing our own stuff and do our own stuff. They dictate to you what you can wear… If you’re on an interview, if you’re going on Carson, “This is what you say, this is what don’t say.” The only control I had over my life was eating. I had no control. We had no control. *clears throat* I didn’t, I didn’t… I wasn’t like my brothers. People, they’re angry and they take it out on others. I was angry and hurt, and I took it out on myself. And being brought up with Joseph and stuff like that… when we were rehearsing on 2300- where we used to live. It’s like, If I danced wrong, if I sang the wrong note, I’d get the hell beat out of me, I’d get thrown in the basement. So instead of taking that out on other people, I withdrew and I’d take it out on myself. There was nothing I could control in my life but my eating. And Joseph told me, “Oh, you’re… oh you have such a big nose.”
G: He told you you were too [i]?
MJ: Yes. When I was little. “You look so [i], you don’t look like my child. Your nose is so big,” and this and that. They used to call me Big Nose and stuff. And instead of retaliating on them, I just did it with myself.
G: Michael? Are you happy with your face?
MJ: Yeah. I’m happy with my face and stuff.
G: Are you happy you did all that surgery?
MJ: Yeah. Because I don’t wanna look like “(I)”[like that? Like him?]
G: Well, you don’t? (laughs)
MJ: I mean, people tell me, “Oh, yeah, you’re really Janet”. Or “Oh, (low voice) before LaToya posed nude.” Sayin’ “Toya and you is the same person and stuff.”
G: Who said that? (laughs)
MJ: Oh, god, it was in the media!
G: That’s just bad.
MJ: Toya even wrote that in Playboy. She said, “Well, at least I can put the rumor to rest that Michael and I aren’t the same person.”
G: (Laughs)
MJ: And showin’ her breasts and stuff like that. Then they say, “Janet and Michael are the same person.”
G: (chuckle) That’s crazy.

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