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Glenda Transcript 4-5

Glenda Tape 4-5, right click to download

Date: June 1992, rehearsals for the Dangerous World Tour

MJ: Yeah
G: I think the strangest conversation was the one that I witnessed between you and La Toya.
MJ: Oh god.
G: When, oh you (laughs), when she was being um… When she was being um, escorted… I guess she was at the condo when she was being escorted out. Do you remember that one?
MJ: No.
G: Don’t you remember?
MJ: Well, refresh my memory.
G: I think (i) I think it was when you were in Africa. Then Janet came on the phone, and I don’t know what she said, or why she got so upset with La Toya. Oh, I think, oh I know what it was, ‘cuz she said she was gonna tell Bill.
MJ: Oh, yeah and Janet was on the phone and you were on the phone and….
G: Yeah, remember that? That was…ugh…I couldn’t believe I was sitting there witnessing this, it was terrible, I felt so bad I thought I should hang up but I didn’t.
MJ: (Laughing)
G: Alright, so alright, you wanted to ask me something (i) let’s get this out of the way?
MJ: I wanna what?
G: You wanted to ask me something?
MJ: Oh, no I didn’t wanna ask you something, I just wanted to let you know.
G: Oh, you just going to let me know. So, okay what did she do, she came to your office?
MJ: Yeah, and I was in the back office…
G: So she knows where your office is?
MJ: Of course she always knows where all the offices are. . .
G: Oh okay…
MJ: Anyway, I did what I said I was gonna do…
G: You put a towel over your head? Did you find a towel?
MJ: Yeah a white towel…
G: Laughs. And a hat?
MJ: Excuse me?
G: And a hat? That must have been a sight.
MJ: Yeah, you know the hat that I always wear.
G: And then what happened? You went outside and saw her and what?
MJ: Yeah, I had to leave the office because I had a rehearsal to go to… and so she… talked to me…
G: Well, what did she say?
MJ: She talked to me, said you’ve been avoiding me? (of course not) and about drawing conclusions, and stuff and I said well… and then we left because we had a rehearsal and stuff… She’s a, you know, she’s a coordinator and stuff and she does a lot of stuff with the band.
G: She models too?
MJ: She does all kinds of things. So we had a rehearsal and of course she was gonna be there and um… so we talked during the break because the band was still, they were still getting things together, the band members and the dancers and stuff… my dancers were going to be working with me.
G: Is she going on tour with you?
MJ: No… not anymore. But um… uh, we had lunch together, we did lunch. She told me she goes like, “Michael, why can I never get through to you?” and I said, “I well I don’t wanna call you because I said you know (CUT in audio) done and spend some time with you and stuff.” And so… we were talking about the situation that had happened… and she said, so she goes, “I love you Michael and I’ll do whatever it takes,” and all that, right? And um, so I had to be honest with her… and she told me, one of the things that she told me today was, she goes like, “Well I’d like to spend some time with you before you leave because of what happened you know.”
G: Is that what she told you?
MJ: No, she knew before that… that… because I was kinda interested in her… and I know I can trust this girl, like I told you a long time ago right? I said I know I can trust her, I don’t have any bad feelings I told you that.
G: Michael?
MJ: Huh?
G: Did you ever tell Kathy?
MJ: No I haven’t… please… believe me now.
G: Eh, alright, it just blows me away because you guys have known each other for such a long time and she’s so devoted to you.
MJ: Well, you know its not like I tell everyone that I’ve known for a long time. Kathy and I have not spoken and stuff since all that stuff with my brothers was going on I will tell her eventually… you know, when I feel like talking. I just don’t want to now. I mean I know a lot of people and I don’t think (i) not that Kathy would do anything to betray me… but anyway. When she was talking to me, she’s like, she goes, “Well, I know your situation.” I had a towel on my head and I got a surgical mask… you know? “I could never see you again or something should happen and I’m really worried about that and I just wanna be with you, you know, one to one, without the gang being around. It’s just its important to me, to be with you, I don’t care. I really want to spend time with you.”
G: Go on!
MJ: You know, that’s what she said… like it doesn’t matter, no matter what you know? She told me that she’s afraid she’s going to lose me as a friend or whatever, she’s afraid she’s not going to see me.
G: But she must care for you.
MJ: Yeah, I know she does.
G: So what are you gonna do?
MJ: Well… I’m gonna, I’m gonna be with her… hold on let me just.. (i)
G: Okay.
MJ: And she said, “Well, I want whats best for you!” I said, “Dammit! Let me make my own mistakes! If it’s a mistake fine, if its not, fine, but just…”
G: How come people are so protective of you, Michael? You know you have a lot of people who really love you and want whats best for you, you’re not alone.
MJ: It doesn’t matter, I make my own choices and my own decisions.
G: Tell me something, you know what? You told me before that you’re the loneliest person.
MJ: I am!
G: Then how can you be that way when there are so many people…
MJ: Because I don’t love those people like that! I want to be with someone…I want to know what a relationship is all about before I die, can’t you understand that girl? I never had… I mean I’ve been with Tate… I’ve been, well not with… I been with Tate. I thought I was with Diana… that was just in my own mind.
G: You were a little boy.
MJ: I know, I have never had a real relationship, my brothers have been married… My brothers have had girlfriends I really haven’t had that.
G: How long did it take you to get over Diana?
MJ: Years… A hell of a long time. I just wanna know what it’s like, girl, to have a real relationship with someone who doesn’t want me for me. That I don’t, I don’t have to look over my shoulder all the time.
G: That doesn’t have an ulterior motive?
MJ: Yeah, that doesn’t question me. I mean… (i) I don’t… and, and.. like La Toya said in her book… she said, either I am going to have to find somebody who doesn’t even know who the heck I am…
G: (i)
MJ: Orrr..oorr deal with somebody whose career is equally as important, or equally like mine.
G: Well.. a nix to both of those.
MJ: What am I gonna do… I don’t want to die without knowing about… having a real relationship with a women or being involved… I don’t… I was involved but we never did anything… we never really had sex…
G: But that was your decision, that wasn’t her’s, I mean.
MJ: But, yeah, but girl, girlfriend had my nose wide open, okay? She could drive a truck through my nose.
G:(laughing) That is the craziest expression I’ve ever heard.
MJ: It’s a black thing.
G: (laughing, imitating his drawl) It’s a black thang? What is it with the nose? I don’t understand how your nose can be wide open.
MJ: I don’t know, it’s just… it’s personal.
G: I mean, it had to start from somewhere. Somebody had to have made it up and I was wondering what they were thinking when they made it up.
MJ: It’s a black secret.
G: Okay Laughing
MJ: So I loved her so much… God.
G: So was that the first time…
MJ: No, no (whispers) (it was in her bedroom?)
G: Where did Tatum and that… what was that other girls…
MJ: Tate… I dealt with Tate when I was a little bit younger. She came up to me in a club, we were in a club (she came up to me?) and she put her hand on mind and I couldn’t believe it (break in tape){This is obvious the poster of these audios was throwing us off. They skip from talking about Tatum O’Neal to this woman] [Glenda laughing, mow they are talking about someone else]
MJ: …anything. I would give her money, I would give her jewelry, I would give her a house, a car, whatever… I was never good enough. It was like… you know…
G: Well she wanted all of you Michael… she wanted a relationship
MJ: She knew how I was from the beginning. It wasn’t like she didn’t.
G: Well, she was probably hoping then that it would change
MJ: But, not until I got married
G: Well I know that… and I’m sure that she loved you… and when you have been with somebody for that many years.
MJ: I loved her so much… I didn’t want to see that. I did not want to see that.and I knew she was fooling around. I know, girl. I know it for a fact.
G: Don’t you think that attracted you to the fact that she was such a strong person and she stood up for you against your dad and she was always there? Wasn’t that a lot of the attraction?
MJ: Yeah
G: Because she’s older than you huh?
MJ: Well yeah…
G: (beep sound) That you were drawn to that.
MJ: Yeah I was.
G: (I)
MJ: And I was so in love and I had my nose wide open and I didn’t want to believe what was really going on. (Tape cut) It didn’t matter she was (Tape cut) (I), but, that’s another story. (I) And it was a good thing that it was finally over.
G: You don’t have any regrets?
MJ: No, uh uh, I don’t regret that I didn’t sleep with her. I’m glad I didn’t. (I)….
G: Yeah, that’s a long story.
MJ: I didn’t. I wish it changed but I haven’t experienced it before, ever… having a relationship like that before, I never… Being in a normal…having a relationship with someone (I) I never had that.
G: Well, I think everybody wants too…
MJ: But, I haven’t.
G: Okay
MJ: And that’s what I want. I know I’m not going to be here very long or whatever.
G: I hope it will be years…
MJ: What?
G: How long do you think you will be here?
MJ: You can’t ask me, I don’t know, what kind of question is that I don’t know.
G: You don’t have any ideas?
MJ: I don’t know… I mean, you could come up with all kind of statistics and facts and die!
G: But you said you think (I) Now? (I)
MJ: Well you know, like Melissa told me today… and she was right… she said like, “I want to see you I want to spend time with you before you leave. I don’t care what the circumstances are.” Because she knows my situation now, and she’s like, “I don’t care, whatever you want. But I don’t know if I will ever see you again,” and stuff… she was honest enough, I mean, she told me…
G: She sounds very good.
MJ: It doesn’t matter with her no matter what, you know?
G: She sounds very nice. She sounds very good.
MJ: I don’t want to die not having like, a relationship like everybody else around me have had… I don’t want to die.
G: I know, I think that to accept you…
MJ: For someone to accept me, and I’ve never experienced that, for someone to accept me totally, no matter what.
G: That’s hard to find Michael.
MJ: I don’t have time to wait.
G: You’re pushing 34 my dear. Laughing
MJ: Yeah and I have never had that. I’ve never had that kind of relationship. Like I’m alone (Tape cut). Everyone else I know have had it. But, I never have.
G: Well, I guess it’s time you get it.
MJ: I know it is. (Tape Cut)… I trusted her. Even though we had fallen in love (even though we had a little falling out?). I ruin my own relationships. Agree?
G: You do!
MJ: Oh, I won’t do that. I don’t know how I’m gonna get it (I)
G: You sabotage your own relationships.
MJ: Well, I won’t do it.
(Tape cut)
G: Because it sounds like she loved you
MJ: Yeah (I) What?
G: That will be very sad!
(tape cut)
MJ: Don’t know what I’m gonna do
(tape cut)
G: I think it is important that you hold on to everything that you hold dear.
MJ: What?
G: I think that it is important that you hold on to everything that you hold dear
MJ: (Tape cut) (I hold on to a lot of things?)
G: (I) everything that you hold dear?
MJ: You know what I want
G: Isn’t that right?
MJ: Yeah I do and it hurts me (I) since people and situations and stuff (tape cut) But, I’m sure, I’m sure about it
G: You have a lot of people that love you very much…you do…
MJ: I have a lot of people that I don’t know what’s going on,
G: About you? And you don’t want them to, But you have to hold those people dear, don’t let them go, don’t hold them, open doors.
MJ: But at least I have with some of my brothers (I) involved (trust them?)….
G: That’s good.That’s very good. Because I know you’ve been through a lot(I) Do you figure you’ll be able to do that?

> Backstory to the Michael Jackson and Glenda Stein tapes

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