I’m not positive, but I think this is before he leaves on the Dangerous tour, possibly spring or early summer, 1992.
G: Because I didn’t know what I had done.
MJ: She would get (i) with you?
G: Angry at me.
G: Because I didn’t know what I had done and I would just stare at her, I would just look at her without emotion because she was getting angry… and getting in my face, and I was thinking, “I am not going to let you know how much you are upsetting me right now.” So, “I’m not going to show you an emotion, I’m not going to show you what you’re doing to me, I’m not gonna cry.” And so after she would leave, and then I would go in my room and close the door and then I would have a reaction. I was trying to analyze why I don’t react. And I think that’s the reason, because I learned a long time ago – don’t show reaction.
MJ: Don’t show emotions and don’t show feelings.
G: Right. Don’t let that person see your reaction. Don’t let that person see your emotions, see what they’re doing to you… analyzing and… (i)
(CUT IN TAPE)
G: Probably, cause, you know, I was thinking um… Remember when um, I remember one night, you called me real late.
MJ: Um huh.
G: You were upset. I think you were crying. I know you were crying on the phone because you didn’t want me to read that book that the Tarroborelli had written.
G: I didn’t like that book either, and you didn’t want me to read it… (I) ’cause one night you called up and you were all upset, you didn’t want me to read it.
G: Were you just waiting to get to know me better before you encouraged me to read that book?
MJ: I didn’t think you would understand me and I didn’t think you would have waited for that.
MJ: Then I got to know you better and I thought you’d understand (whispering) it’s about (I)
G: …not a word.
MJ: Because it was like… we just had to know each other and um, I didn’t want you to know some SHIT. And I thought I, you know, I was real close, like you’re a very good friend… that close. And I didn’t want to lose that. I didn’t want you to misunderstand the book. Then I felt like “We got so close… it’s okay.”
G: So that’s why you said it was okay if I read the book?
MJ: Yeah.. (whispering)… it involved (I). A lot of things have happened (i) book. Well… See, you don’t understand, you can’t empathize because you haven’t been there.
G: No, that’s true.
MJ: But, like… um we can go over this for days and its not even…
CUT IN TAPE
G: I just wanted you to know that um, I sensed your loneliness and I had sensed that you had somebody that didn’t want anything [from you] that you could at least talk to.
MJ: Somebody brave who accepted me no matter (cut in tape)… life. When I was a child, I wasn’t allowed to go to people’s houses like…
MJ: You read that in Toya’s book and Tarraborellis book. We could not socialize with other children (cut in tape)… but now it’s like a setback.
(CUT IN TAPE)
MJ: Tell me! Which video Black or White, Remember the Time, In the Closet and Bad. Which one do you like the best?
G: I told you that the other night!
MJ: Which one?
MJ: Which one?
G: Which one?
G: (Cut in tape) then I like Remember the Time and then I like Jam.
MJ: You like living “In the Closet” best (laughing)
G: Yeah. Which one do you like?
MJ: I like Remember the Time. I like Jam. It was real fun doing it with Michael. I liked Remember the Time, but I had the most fun doing Jam out of all of them.
G: You looked like you were having fun.
MJ: Yeah, I had fun with Naomi, but, I (whisper) hate doing that. (Laughing)
MJ: She’s a sweetheart. She’s a champ. But I had the most fun when we were in Chicago doing Jam. I had FUN with Jam.
G: Yeah, it looked like you were having fun.
G: I liked the way, at the end, where you get down on the floor you were trying to arrange his feet.
MJ: Oh God. You didn’t see the making of Jam?
G: Uh Uh
MJ: It was so funny, because I was on the floor, right?
G: Uh Huh
MJ: And he put the basketball on my head and he was holding me down on the floor.
G: No! Laughing
MJ: (Laughing) He’s so big compared to me.
G: ‘Cause you’re so small.
G: Cause you’re so small.
MJ: I know. And it was so funny because we’re laying down on the floor in the video, the actual video and uh… I was trying to make him move his feet. GOD, he was like so stiff.
MJ: (In deep voice imitating Michael Jordan) “Yeah, Yeah. That’s it, yeah.” Yeah right.
MJ: Hold on one second, please? Okay?
(CUT IN TAPE)
G: What else did Heavy D write?
MJ: Heavy D did, um, the tune with Janet (cut in tape) Cab Calloway. Yeah, had to be the overweight level with guy (he’s talking about Janet’s Alright Then released in 1990)
G: Was he in her video?
G: With the one with Cab Calloway in it?
MJ: Yeah. (In deep voice, very cute) Heavy D the overweight Lovaaaaaa
G: Oh… I don’t remember that.
MJ: Yeah. I like Heavy D, he’s sweet.
MJ: And he worked with Teddy Riley, you know, Teddy Riley, that guy. He said (lyrics from Jam), “First I cooled it like a fan. Got with Janet, then with Guy, then with Michael, ’cause it aint too hard for me to Jam.”
(CUT IN TAPE)
MJ: I took them off for a minute, I waved to the girls in the balcony and I said “This is for the girls in the balcony,” and I took them off and I put them back on. That was hard. I didn’t want to do it.
G: How, uh when did you start wearing glasses, sunglasses all the time?
MJ: I wore shades for years. You know, I wear shades because… like, like Mr. D said… and it’s true. Your eyes… when you show someone your eyes, you let them look through your soul. I didn’t want anyone to look into my soul, y’know? I didn’t want anybody to see that about me. And there’s a lot of pain and stuff and I’m very scared.
G: But, on the Dangerous album, it’s all of you. (Laughing)
MJ: (I) You really don’t understand… Do you?
G: No, I don’t.
MJ: Take a look at those eyes.
G: They’re beautiful eyes… (I) hiding from your face?
MJ: That was a mask/mat of tate/tape
G: What does that mean?
MJ: That was… it’s like… if someone, it’s like. (long pause) It’s like, you see someone’s eyes, or you draw a painting of those eyes. It’s like… did you ever see me on the cover of BAD?
G: Are you asking me if I’ve seen the cover of BAD?
MJ: I had light contacts on and that was all airbrushed. When you see me on Dangerous, that’s all airbrushed. That’s some airbrushing.
G: Your eyes?
MJ: Yeah. I don’t look that perfect.
G: (Laughing) Um okay. (Laughing). Don’t lie, I’m just (I)
MJ: It’s airbrushing.
G: Oh, Okay. Is there a reason you just showed your eyes and not the rest of your face?
MJ: Because I was supposed to be like a “vision into my soul”… looking into my soul.
G: Is that what it was?
MJ: It was airbrushed.
(CUT IN TAPE )
MJ: To tell you honestly what Elizabeth and I talked about… She got so “F’d” up (I)[behind?] hurt and about being a child star… and I was so screwed up and whatever you want to call it [behind me?] I swear to you (I) ’cause I do hide.
G: (Long pause) You hide?
MJ: Look, my eyes and stuff like that, but they are just airbrushed. When you see someone on the cover of a magazine. Like Vogue or Rolling Stones, or whatever you call it, it’s airbrushed. You want it to look perfect.
MJ: Well sure it does, of course. But, it’s like.. if I was a top person, y’know, like “Jen Brad? Jim Brett?(???) Or somebody like that… let’s say… You’re going to be on the cover of Rolling Stones (I) You look like (I). You would look perfect. No matter what you have wrong with you… That’s how it is in the business. You have to look perfect.
G: Well, you did look perfect on that one picture on the cover of Rolling Stone where you had your hands up and your head down. That’s a great picture. I noticed you don’t look at the camera?
MJ: ‘Cause I don’t want people to… (long quiet pause) soul… I don’t want people to look through my soul… I say on the Dangerous album…